Changing my last name

I have mixed feelings about this topic.  I read an awesome post from this lady who rocks, about changing her last name.  She has not changed it.

I have worked really hard with that last name.  While I have a pretty unique first name (most people remember Merchon), there goes all of your word of mouth.  That is maybe exaggerating, because people will (hopefully) know you by more than your last name, but it is an odd thought to change all of that.

What do people think of your new last name?  I can't go ANYWHERE in my hometown with out someone knowing my fiance, his brothers, or his parents.  It is like I am marrying the freakin Mayor.  While they have laid an amazing path with that name, when you are in a place with as many tentacles as his family has, you make enemies.  I don't care because OBVIOUSLY they are in the wrong, but you never know the relationship when you say the last name.

I am excited to me Mr. and Mrs. though.  I am excited to be his wife.  One of his friends called and during conversation, somehow the conversation came up that I will always be Ryan's wife.  His family has such an enormous web in the city we live, that is what I will be.  I have to be ok with that.

While I will do incredible things for my career, for my family, for our life, for my web, there will be so many people who will know me as Hammer's wife.  That is his nickname from lacrosse, FYI.

In the end, does it really mean anything.  Are we more married because we have the same last name?  Is he not my family because we don't share a name?  When I asked Ryan about it, he completely understands me not changing my last name.  It doesn't offend him at all and he understands what work I have put in with my last name.  

Can you keep your name professionally but change it socially?  Does that get too confusing?  My mom hyphenated her last name, which might be a decent medium.  Professionally, you still keep the name you worked with, but socially people will probably not use both names.  It seems a little redundant and long.  

Where it really gets confusing I think is when we have children.  What would their last name be?  I know that Ryan would never change his name and probably expects that our kids would share his last name.  I definitely had a dream last night that I had a baby.  Like gave birth and then was all of sudden a mother.  It was a little scary.

When Ryan and I were just "dating" (I say it like that because we were living together but just boyfriend/girlfriend) I thought about our wedding and babies and married life in the sense that I knew it was going to happen, but not all that soon.  Well next week marks 5 months until the wedding, and then we start talking family.  It is crazy how life becomes a roller coaster.  You know that hill is coming, just once you hop on it comes a lot faster than you realize.  

I have also realized it is not helpful to try to write posts while watching the real housewives of anything.  I get so caught up in the drama and their lives I completely lose my train of thought.